My Journey...
Marenn Maúne Sagar
Who am I? What is my true nature? How can I deal with my own suffering and that of others
Discovering the lotus in the mud and resurfacing the hidden gems of my natural beauty as a human being.
The term Living Presence points at a truth of our own nature as human beings: that we are, each of us, more than biology and cultural conditioning, more than thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations. We are also a conscious, living, loving presence in the world.
We have the human potential to know and express ourselves fully as the living presence & living freedom that we are. This means (among other possibilities) to be in touch with, and express in our daily actions and way of life, inner qualities such as love, joy, truth, unity, compassion, peace, gratitude, curiosity, connection, reverence and wonder.
In our embodiment as beings of living presence we are intimately connected to everything and everyone, even when we are not aware of it. At our deepest level we exist in unity and inter-dependence with the entire cosmos.
However, instead of living in this experience of deep union, we often experience ourselves as separate selves, disconnected from each other and the world. In this limited self-identity we tend to focus on our own narrow self-interests as separate rather than inter-dependent, and easily start relating to other people, groups and the world as foreign to ourselves, and even as hostile and threatening to our own self-interests; and our relationship with nature easily becomes that of exploitation instead of reverence and care.
This disconnection from our deeper nature is, as we see it, at the root of most of our individual suffering, and also at the root of most social conflict, inequalities, injustices, polarization, and lack of care for each other and the natural environment. (Zen Coaching and living Presence founder, Kåre Landfald)
My Journey to Zen Coaching
After finishing my Bachelors and masters in Sustainability and planning in Cairns at James Cook University and working in the University space, researching and cultivating a culture of sustainability for some years I longed for freedom to travel.
I was drawn to Scandinavia and discovered Zen Coaching in Sweden at the No Mind Festival in June 2019. I had such a profound experience I decided to complete the full year training and coaching certification. Living in Scandinavia in a the working community, course and festival centre was the perfect environment to train and practice intensely with a international network of coaches. By the time I left I was ready change my career to set up my own business and be a full time coach. This is also where I met my partner and now wife of 5 years, and I now share a beautiful life together with in Australia.
My closest personal relationships have dished me up my holes and triggers as major opportunities to grow! For example cultivating the capacity to stay with the immediate experience of emotional upheaval, rather than running away from it and notice what happens. I came to understand and transform my old patterns of doubting, wanting to avoid or run away, deflecting and blaming others for problems rather than looking for answers within.
At times I have thought “there is no way I can continue this”. “I don’t want this”. “I want to escape”. “Life was better before and I can make it better again if I just leave this situation”. Actually it was all me trying to escape feeling my emotions. The reaction in me was so automatic, so ingrained in my behaviour I hadn’t even noticed it.
The problem was, my pattern would take me away from the reality of the present moment and cause me to either react from what I had learnt in the past or escape discomfort by fantasising about the future. I realised my actions could be seriously self sabotaging and destroy things I deeply loved and valued. In these moments of automatic triggered reaction I was not acting from my true self, my essential qualities. For example imagine the difference if I was connected to my self worth, solidness, self compassion, trust and surrender.
Truth seeker & self enquiry
Truth seeking is something I have always loved, and maybe you have too. Arriving at truth I feel qualities of clarity, stillness, peace.
Three key ways to discover deeper truth’s.
1) One is in the quality of innocent curiosity to discover.
2) The second way is a sharper quality of intuitive discrimination – the ability to separate; like a blade that cuts the untrue away.
3) The third is including compassion and acceptance for all that arises in me.
Meditative partner enquiry is a practice used in the Zen Coaching training as a tool for deep self-discovery. I love sharing the practice of enquiry in workshops, retreats and as a self-discovery tool.
Shedding layers and discovering dynamism
A dynamic ebb and flow of self discovery on the one hand, and shedding old conceptions, beliefs and attachments on the other. Discovering that who I am and my experience in any moment is not a fixed, rigid or unchanging identity. I am a holding space for a dynamic collective of different parts (with their own needs and vulnerabilities) that are ever evolving.
As I let go of the carefully crafted and built up over my whole life I discover almost miraculously that the less of me I hold onto the more expansive, spacious, and liberated I feel!
Exposing old habits, and preconceived conceptions of who I should be – such as: harsh self judgements and criticisms pushing me to be different, do more, telling me I’m not good enough; has led me on a path of letting go of my ‘should’s’ and following my ‘could’s’ which has reduced my inner conflict/ suffering. The second result is more freedom and possibility to follow my creativity and what I wholeheartedly want to do in life! What happens when I do this!? I experience more compassion, creativity, joy, relationships deepening in authenticity, dreams manifesting, feeling I am offering a meaningful contribution to the whole.
I become free from being a victim of circumstance. I am empowered with a sense of inner dynamism to be myself and share my gifts with the world. More and more I make conscious choices that support my life to be in flow state!
My experience receiving coaching
I am always blown away by what happens when I gift myself a coaching session. I know its the right time, sometimes I’m excited, often I feel some resistance before hand. Its like feeling the tension before a thunder storm and then the fresh clear spaciousness afterwards. To receive the complete compassionate presence of another supports me to be with all the parts of myself.
Receiving coaching has allowed me to untangle the root causes of the challenges I was facing in my life. To have the confidence in my inner resources to navigate hardship and also connect with a more open curiosity to see what lies beneath the surface of my patterns, triggers, fears and longings. Challenges have become an opportunity to compassionately evolve myself, a red flag to bring me back in alignment with some part of myself I have been neglecting.
Exploring these areas within myself makes it easier for me to feel compassion for the suffering of others. As a coach I regularly engage with some of the universal struggles of being human. Seeing that underneath the surface we are all beautiful, kind and creative people that essentially long to love and be loved.
When we accept and nourish who we are, with wakeful loving kindness, we cultivate our beautiful potential to contribute authentically to the world.
Child of Illusion
I am a bird on the wind,
An abundant coral cay full of intricacy,
As expansive as the ocean,
As rich as the soil,
I am a conscious creator of my own life,
Not a victim to it,
I am not in a rush to go anywhere,
My time is infinite,
I manifest all that I long for with ease and grace,
My heart holds joy and pain equally without discrimination,
My curiosity untangles my fears like cat and wool,
I have no need to dam life,
As life is dynamic and ever changing,
All experiences flow through me caressing my being with the gentle touch of love.
Marenn Maúne Sagar, 2021
What do I long for?